Self Realization

Life a simple four letter word but to define it well frankly not a simple task in hand. Life is actually for some of us not the thing we expect it to be. Some of us want to be successful, rich with all the things you can imagine. But lifes a bitch aint it? No matter how much you want something, no matter how much you work for it, no matter how much you give it your all, sometimes its just a pile shit waiting for you at the end. Life is actually kind of cruel sometimes. You know you are willing to do something, you are willing to shed your sweat and blood over it but life has another plan for you. Let alone stopping you in the middle of the tracks it literally doesn’t even fucking let you start. I wonder if this is the feeling an abortion fetus gets when even before it starts to breath, before it even gets a chance to do something someone up there just decides it cant be born and just discards it, tosses it aside like the garbage which is supposed to be thrown out. Yep that’s life for some of us. But you know people always say don’t let anything stop you from trying, don’t let it stop from what you want to do just think positively or be an optimist but sometimes its just too much of a burden to even think of something positive, all your life you have been waiting for a positive thing to happen but always always you get nothing but the bad things nothing but the negative. its just kind of a frustrating to even think of a positive thing when even if you put in your all the end result is always the same, nothing else but the soulless heartless bitch that is life.

Well the ugly truth life has been a bitch to everyone of us at some point of our whole life. But sometimes its just the matter of facing your fears and not letting the fucking thing make you stop, not giving up but just keep moving forward. Yeah just keep moving forward just do what you can do, do what you want to do to reach the goal that you have set for yourself even if the goal is full of obstacles and you cant do anything else just don’t give up, never give up, never surrender, show them what you are made out of, just give them a reason to never mess with you again, just show them how great you are, how badass you can be to reach your goal. Whatever happens never ever give up. Until there is still breath in you don’t stop trying, stop being a cowardly man blaming others for their bad luck but learn to take responsibility for yourself and the most important part keep moving forward. You fall you stand back again and if you fall again just stand up again but never back down, just keep moving forward until you cant no more but till then just KEEP MOVING FORWARD. 

The Role Playing

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YiR1LzvxvIU

The above is the link to the role playing video.

Self Reliazation

Who am I?

To tell you the truth and I can’t exaggerate it more, I am not superman or batman or spider man or any other superhero who likes to wear the tight uncomfortable clothes. I am just a normal human being living a normal life, though I am sure people who know me well will have slightly different feelings on me being normal. To tell the truth, I don’t know how other people see me, but I see myself as an energetic, slightly adventurous, sometimes patient, sometimes lazy and quite a helpful guy. So to sum it up I am a little of everything, the good and the bad.

Where am I in my life?

 This one’s a little bit tricky. I am in the stage of my life where I am quite confused of what am I doing but also quite sure what I want to do. I want to do something for my future and mold it right now so that tomorrow will be a bright and sunny day even though today is a gloomy one. And I don’t want destiny or any other thing decide my future either, I want to do it in my own accord. I can’t say right now what I will be in the future exactly, but I am sure of what I want to be doing right now.

Why am I doing this assignment?

The reason I am doing this assignment is mostly because as a student I am obliged to do the work that my teacher gives me and also because if I don’t do it I may end up in some sort of trouble. Well if I have to tell the truth the second reason is the most apparent one I think. I also think we do these assignments because we learn a lot from them, whether it’s academic learning or anything other than that. It also helps me figure out my strong points and weak points and also a way to tackle them so as to eliminate them and make myself even more stronger and wiser all in the same time.

What am I going to be in 5 yrs and in 21 yrs?

In 5 years time I would like to be where everybody would like to be, at the top. Not at the top of the building or anything, but at the top of the thing that I do. I want to be the very best at the thing I do. I at least want to leave my mark on the world even if it’s a small one. And now, where do I see myself in 21 years time, now this is a little bit seeing too far in the future. I know planning for your future is good and everything but for me thinking what I would be doing after 21 years is a little bit too far in the future. But still, if I had to think of it I would probably want to be the one who everybody looks up to and probably owner of a company or so where everybody would call me as THE BOSS.

What is that I have to develop in myself to be what I should be I the next 5 yrs and 21 yrs?

The things that I need to develop to get to the point I want to be in the 5 years and 21 years time, there are many many things. So many in fact that if I start listing them out it will surely lead me to write a novel and not just one novel, it would probably be a complete volume of novels. So I will just list some of them right now. One of the things is the way that I perceive things whether it’s a positive one or a negative one. When I receive a positive comment I tend to get the feeling that I am the best and receiving a negative comment makes me want to kick the commenter on the face. This is one of the things I want to change. I also want to remove the lazy part of me. Mainly because I want to finish my task in time and not one day before the dead line, also because my mother always shouts at me for being that lazy. What can you say, I have a caring mother.

How serious am I to achieve the goal of my life?

I will have to admit before 2 years I was not so serious in anything mainly study. But now I have an understanding of why I am doing it & for whom and now I have an idea of how I should act. So right now I will have to say that I am dead serious in what I am doing. Even if sometimes I might seem to be carefree but I actually am serious even if just a little.

Confidence Vs Arrogrance

                Confidence basically means a feeling or a belief on something you can do or one’s ability and arrogance means somewhat the same thing but in this case you are somewhat of a buffoon who thinks of themselves more than anyone else and likes to boast about the things they can do a lot. Both these things can be mistaken for each other sometimes but they are really two very different things. Well in short a confident person is like a gentleman who knows his abilities but also respects others and their abilities whereas an arrogant man is like a no nothing hoodlum who overestimates his abilities boasts about the things he can do and underestimates others abilities and always talks down on others.

                To tell you the truth arrogance is actually the evolved form of confidence hence sometimes arrogance is also called over confidence. The over confident man usually has so much confidence that in the mist of all his confidence he forgets what’s his objectives are and takes the work really lightly and in the end crashes and burns before he reaches his objectives. You know the saying, too much confidence can and will be your death; well I just made it up but it’s the truth none the less. 

Roles

                The thing about life is that no matter how much we try, in fact no matter how much we do anything the bottom-line is that we can never control the things that happen in our life. All we can do is steer it in the direction we want to but we can’t stop the bad or the good things that happen in it. The only thing we can do is to make the best of what we got. It can also be said life is like a puppet show and we are its puppets and like in a puppet show there are roles we have to play. I like everyone else also have some roles in my life. I would like to talk about everyone of them but due to some laziness issues below I have only listed some of them.

1.       Son:

This role I played with my mother and father. Of course my father is out of the valley most of the time, so it’s just my mother who I get to play this role with most of the times. I woke up early in the morning ahead of everybody to take my usual morning walks. After I came home my mother was already awake and had even prepared me my breakfast. The thing that I always want to do in this time of the day is make my mother happy. Yes, I never do and don’t like the chores she gives me but she is still my mother, the one who raised me and made me the man who I am today and who wouldn’t want to see their mother happy. So this day I did the one thing that she always says me to do but I never do; cleaning my room. She didn’t know until I finished cleaning my room and well at the end she did have a smile on her face; a thumbs up big success.

a.       Home

b.      Relatives place

2.       Brother:

This role I played with my brother. I have only one brother so there is no one I can play this role besides him. I usually wake up earlier than my brother so most of the times I go to wake him up and sometimes I even do some childish things, like throwing water at him in case of which he does gets his revenge later. We brothers don’t go all mushy showing affection and care for each other but we do these childish pranks to show we care for each other; although our mother does have a different view of it. We all have our methods, don’t we? Today was no different, I did pull a prank on him so I knew later on was going to pay for it and he did take his revenge on me later; it was just a matter of laugh to us anyway. The thing I am trying to say is that some people have many brothers and sisters but I have only one. So, you have to make the most of what you got and I for one am glad I have a brother like mine. So, no matter what the condition and place I always support him in anything and stick by his side when he is in trouble.

a.       Home

b.      Relatives place

c.       Brothers office

3.       Friend:

This role is somewhat I play, not every day but most of the times with my friends whenever I meet them. Naming all of them would lead me to writing quite a long list so I won’t be doing that. I came to the college premises and met my friends. I always act normal in front of them although they do say I act like kid sometimes; I don’t where they get that. I mostly try to help my friends whenever they need it and today was the day of our assignment submission and of course some of them did need help with it and helped them I did. All in all a day well spent.

a.        College

b.      Anywhere outside

The Environent

Today I will be talking about the environment and what things I do, both negative positive that helps or deteriorate the environment and also some plans to help it.

Starting with the negative ones. The first thing is actually relatable to many of us. We live in an era that is highly influenced by gadgets and as many of us right now I actually own quite a lot of them. I have to admit I actually am quite a forgetful person and most of the time when I do something, for example charging mobile, later I forget to plug it out even when the batteries are full. Not only this I have had the same problems with the televisions and the wifi routers that I use in a daily basis. I usually don’t unplug them and as a result they keep on using the electricity even when no one’s using them, hence resulting to unwanted usage of electricity. Of course I sometimes don’t turn them off just because I forgot it but because I am probably one of the laziest persons you will ever meet. I don’t want to go all the way to the power supply unit and turn it off, yeah that’s the lazy me speaking there.

Now leaving the negative things and turning to a positive side, I do my share in making the environment clean for a change. When I eat chocolates or any other thing that contains a wrapper I usually hold on to the wrapper and later when I find a trash bucket through it in it. Also I try to use less water as much as I can. Walk whenever I have to go to a short distance and take a bus when I have to go a long distance, even if I hate the public transport of Nepal. Sometimes I even try to save the electricity and when I say try, I really do my best to do it. But of course I would be lying if I told you I don’t use more electricity then I need. Also, I don’t burn plastic and other materials that make a lot of smoke and harm the environment and urge others not to do it too.

So as I already told earlier, I would like to make some plans that I can use later to keep the environment clean even more. First I would like to save as much electricity as possible and also try to keep my surroundings clean. Also I would be interested in joining some activities related to cleaning the surrounding whenever I get the chance. Also I would like to urge other people to do the same as me.

My Self

1.       Childhood:

a)      Mischievous

b)      Playful

c)       Friendly

d)      Innovative

e)      Energetic

Place:

·         School:

1. Playful

2. Energetic:

Well in my childhood I will have to say I was really energetic sometimes even more than normal and when I say more than normal I mean more like someone on steroids. But now this aspect of me is actually really rare. And as many of my friends and family say I’m the exact opposite of it now (lazy). What can I say as you older like many of us we get lazier and lazier, most of us anyway. I actually don’t know why I was so energetic then but right now when someone tells me to do a thing which is a little boring I usually back of and you know make some excuse or something.

3. Friendly

4. Innovative

5. Mischievous:

All children are mischievous when they are little and I’m not a different case either. When I was a child I was in my view a little mischievous but according to my family members a lot mischievous. That was when I was little but now I am grown man and since I am a grown man now I am not mischievous now, alright sometimes anyway. But this aspect of my life I actually am happy to let go and well don’t miss it so much I guess.

·         Description of me now:

Well apart from some aspects I still am the same old playful man I was back then. I will say I haven’t changed much so there are many aspects of me that haven’t changed at all. although the innovative part of me is getting a little rusty but the friendly and playful part of me is still alive and kicking.

2.       Family:

a)      Polite

b)      Disciplined

c)       Sharing

d)      Support

e)      Arguments

Places:

·         Home:

1. Disciplined

2. Support

3. Sharing

4. Polite

5. Argument:

I always hated arguments but now and then I always did get into some arguments with my family members. In my early teenage the arguments did increase but I was going through a stage of my life back then. Leaving this not so nice aspect of mine I am actually relieved right now. I love my family and I hate to make any of them sad or disappointed because of me. So, this new brighter part of me is actually one of the best things that have happened in my life.

·         Description of me now:

In my family me and my brother have always have stayed within the rules and regulations that our parents have limited to us and except for the argument part I will have to say I have never defied my parents. I still am disciplined and still support my family and even for some it’s hard to believe polite and sharing.

3.       Friends:

a)      Reliable

b)      Outgoing

c)       Fights

d)      Entertaining

e)      Trustworthy

                   

Places:

·         Newroad:

1. Outgoing

2. Entertainment

3. Reliable

4. Trustworthy

5. Fights

·         Description of me now:

So, as you can see I haven’t changed a bit in these aspects at all. So, from the above you can see that I do love to go out and hang out with my friends. I also like to do a lot of entertainment stuff like playing games and other things I am also very reliable and trustworthy too and do help my friends when they are in need. And as anybody sometimes I do get into fights with my friends although they don’t last long and we both end up talking in a couple of minutes.